Contrary to what my husband feels and thinks I do not feel any pressure or interest to ‘nag’ my 2 year old and a half daughter to stop wearing diapers. I really cannot see the need to force or compel her to learn to go potty. If I had my way, she could learn at her own time…. I think it’s something innate in children as learning to crawl or walk … they will eventually learn when they are ready-not necessarily with extra effort. Obviously without much effort on my part, which may be suspected that I’m too lazy to try, let alone deal with this issue having a one month old baby at home ….
If I feel any urge to potty train my daughter it is mainly because of external pressures such as what my mother thinks and says to me, what my husband says (who probably repeats what his mother thinks and says) what some people out there say or write.
I love to shield myself in writers that think just like me such as Laura Gutman who in her book “Motherhood and the encounter with your own shadow” writes: “Mothers will fight against pees, panties and wet underwear, sheets and mattresses in the sun, pants to be washed, while accumulating resentment, probably a bad mood and boredom to the extent that they believe their children should “learn” this ability and are capable of carrying it out by the age of two. But if we leave the kids alone, once they reach three years old, maybe even when they turn four, (not forgetting that every child is different) just one day your kid will be able to recognize, retain, wait, take care of their own need to go to the bathroom, without trauma and without further adieu: he/she will be able to independently control his/her needs. “
Under the same concept the writer speaks of the need to force children to quit using the pacifier. The suction, as well as the sphincter control instinct remains in human beings for quite some time … the author writes: “From the adult authoritarianism it is possible to remove the pacifier, but such as the case with diapers this act does not relieve the kid of his or her unfinished need to suck. If each stage is lived fully, is ended fully then it is possible to evolve to other interests. Otherwise, unmet needs change and transform and later we do not understand to what failures they belong”.